Did you know that sometimes you’re supposed to feel guilt? Like, sometimes you’ve done something wrong, and you should feel bad about it.
That’s a crazy thought isn’t it?
I apologize a lot. It’s in my nature. I’m the type of person who wants to be liked; not because I’m insecure, but because I generally like most people, and it feels good when they like me back. That being said, I’m human. I say stupid things. I get my foot stuck in my mouth. Overall, I can be a real dummy dumb sometime’s. I’m shy and hyper and just a real mixed bag of thoughts (as you can probably tell from my blog).
But here’s the thing, I don’t apologize because I think it’s going to make people like me more. Even though I do like being liked, just like everyone else, when I say sorry it’s because I really mean it.
One of the reasons I bring that up is because it really PISSES me off when people don’t apologize. You know the type, never apologizes for anything, generally a more masculine or proud person. They refuse to apologize even when they know they’re in the wrong. I remember when I was a kid, I said I was sorry to an older dude I knew. He said to me, “Never apologize, just say ‘my bad’”.
I think that’s dumb.
You know what apologizing does? It means you’re taking responsibility for your actions. A genuine apology means that you have reflected on your actions and acknowledge that you
messed up. When you’re able to do that it makes you grow into a less selfish person.
Being considerate of people you care about is cool.
THE WHEEL OF GUILT
Generally, when you feel guilty for an action that you made it’s good to reflect and figure out why you feel guilty. If you can accurately describe why you feel guilty, and you know that the fault lies with you, apologizing is the next step. You know what ISN’T the next step? More guilt.
I hate it when people torture themselves with guilt. Yes I get it you’re just such a wonderful person you can’t believe you messed up blah blah blah. Are you finished yet?
Guilt is a momentary sign that you need to make a change. If you want to crucify yourself because you did something wrong, you probably need some therapy, or jail time, or something.
THE BOY WHO CRIED APOLOGY
Yeah okay so here’s the thing though. When you say sorry, mean it. Like I said earlier, when you become the type of person who takes responsibility and apologizes for their actions, people want you to be genuine about it. If you’re apologizing too much, or don’t seem honest about it, people are going to dislike you even more because you make the impression that you are a people-pleaser.
Self respect is dope. Chicks dig it.
Do you apologize at all, or too much? Tell me what works for you, I’m still figuring out this whole “life” thing.