Trust.

I bought a coffee machine.

No more do I have to drive to Starbucks for their sub-par espresso. No more do I only have to be satisfied with only one cup of coffee through the day. Now I have all the power. I can make all the coffee I want. I can make reality whatever I want.

I’m thinking about writing a blog in praise of this coffee machine and all the pleasant joys it brings me. I’ll be like every other mom out there. Coffee is my drug. Here’s a photo of me with my mug and my pug. If you talk to me before I get my coffee, beware, I’m grumpy. You know, stuff white girls who love Starbucks say.

Coffee is my inspiration.

I was thinking today about my book that I haven’t written yet. I was thinking about the character’s that don’t actually exist yet and about what will define the theme of the book. I was thinking about trust. Trust is such an interesting element of life. Everyone views it a little differently I think.

Most people probably consider themselves trustworthy. Yet a lot of people have dealt with close friends or family destroying their trust. I’ve met many people in life who were so betrayed by others that it was really hard for them to trust new people.

I think we’ve all had people in our lives disappoint us. And even though we may not be able to admit it, we’ve all disappointed someone else in one way or another. This is why trust is such an interesting and difficult thing to grasp. It’s something that sounds so black and white: If someone is trustworthy, that means that they follow through with what they say. That you can “trust” them to get the job done, and to commit to their words and actions.

This is completely true. Trust is pretty black and white. The thing that isn’t black and white is the human element. People who are trustworthy with some things may not be trustworthy with others. You may think that you are entirely trustworthy, but you may not be able to easily trust in other people. Your bitterness for someone’s past actions may keep you from ever trusting in them again, no matter how small amount of trust they ask from you. Perhaps you don’t even trust in yourself to do the right thing based off of your own past actions.

People have a way of complicating things that we wish could be simple. I think it should be simple, and I try to apply that simplicity to my life on a daily basis.

If you’re in the business of self improvement, here’s how I think you should apply trust.

Be a trusting person.

I have talked to so many people through the years who talked about how “strong” they were. How they rely solely on themselves because other people let them down. How trust is for weak people and blah blah blah. That’s stupid. That’s nonsense. That’s silliness. It’s childish. It’s moronic. I am passionately against that mindset and I think it creates weak self pitying cry-babies.

Trust is for strong people.

A strong person should be the most trusting person you meet. They should be so trusting and believing that sometimes people think that they are a tad naive. Why? Because trust is a leaders strength. People who trust in others may sometimes get disappointed, but more often than not trust leads people to perform better, because someone believed that they could accomplish what they said they would do.

I like to think of myself as a trusting person. I consider the inner cynic that I have inside to be a partial weakness. Being cynical and cautious about people is not a good way to live life. It is much better to trust in someone and to be disappointed than to never trust at all.

Now I said trust to the point where people think you’re a tad naive. I’m not saying actually be naive. If someone you put trust in failed you, and they have no remorse for their actions, you should be a bit more cautious putting your trust in them again. I’m not saying be bitter or unforgiving towards them, but just learn from what has happened. The best example I have for this is this: If your girlfriend breaks your heart, maybe don’t give them your heart again. You can still be friends, or you know, “friendly” I guess.

I guess what I mean is don’t be self-destructive and say that you’re “trusting”.

Be a trustworthy person.

Being trustworthy is difficult and easy at the same time. No matter how much you try to be trustworthy in life, there is always someone that will consider you to be the opposite, and that’s okay. That’s life. People are going to think what they’re going to think about you. The important thing is for you to consistently become better, so that you can look back and see that you are a better person now than you have ever been.

In terms of trust, there’s only one thing that you should actively focus on doing ALL THE TIME.

Say what you mean.

Sugarcoating, white lies, actual lies, people pleasing, communication issues, these are all things that you need to avoid in life. Don’t avoid saying the truth because you’re afraid of how people are going to react. Don’t say something simply because you think that’s what someone else wants to hear.

I think that people who consider themselves good at “reading between the lines” are morons. A trusting person listens to what other people say, and believes them. You should be the type of person that is worth believing when you speak. That means you speak the truth. That means you try to make yourself as understandable as possible. That means communicating effectively and following through on your promises.

If you’re saying what you mean, you’re not making empty promises. If you say you’re going to do something that means you’re going to do it. You should treat your words with the weight that they should have. If your words are meaningless and wanton, then people are going to treat you as if your trust is meaningless and wanton. They won’t trust in you.

If you want to be trustworthy and trusting, that’s what you should do. You should listen to what other people are saying, and trust that they are not intentionally lying to you. Then you should act that way in turn. 

You’d be surprised how honest people are when you actually treat them that way.

People are worth trusting in. You’re worth trusting in. God is worth trusting in.

Coffee is worth trusting in.

Photo by McKenna Phillips on Unsplash

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