Unproductive Days.

I’m suffering. I’ve spent the day today despairing over a paper that’s due Monday. I’ve written one page.

Utter. Depression.

I’m resigned to my fate. I’m going to bed after I finish writing this. No more paper writing for today.
Have you ever had a day where you couldn’t think? I think that’s my problem today. My brain just decided to never wake up. I’m like, “hey bro I need you” and he says nothing because he doesn’t work. Either he doesn’t work, or he urges me to distract myself doing pointless things.

Thanks brain, much appreciated.

I got Andy’s in the hope that the sugar would wake me up a bit. It did not wake me up and now I’m crashing fast. I’m also listening to sad music. Because I’m sad. Not really, but I did want to finish that paper today. I’m disappointed that I didn’t. Therefore I’m punishing my brain with sad music.

Take that, brain.

I mean sure, I’m probably not great at writing character analysis papers. They’re just not the type of assignment that grips me. Teacher tells me to “find symbolism” and that translates to “make up some garbage and I’ll tell you whether or not I like the garbage by giving you a good or bad grade”. Obviously that’s not true.

But actually, it is.

Maybe I’ll stay up tonight and finish the paper. I think for the first time all day I’m actually waking up.
Why.
Let’s talk about something a little more productive shall we?

No.

I’ve been frustrated with myself for simply not being able to write a stupid paper. I can’t find anything in the subject material that I think is worth writing about. My issue is that I really do, in my heart, want the paper to be good. Is that stupid? Probably. . . My issue is that I need to feel a certain way sometimes before I can be confident in my writing. Especially when it comes to something that I don’t enjoy writing at all. That just didn’t happen today.
cue the sad music.
So when you have a day that’s completely unproductive, what do you do? Do you listen to sad music and eat ice cream, while you cry your eyeballs out writing a blog that doesn’t make any sense?
I mean, you could.
We all have unproductive days. People have ups and downs. Sometimes your brain just doesn’t want to work with you. Sometimes you just didn’t get enough sleep. Sometimes you’re a grump. That happens. We’re human. I sure don’t think you should justify shrugging your responsibilities based off of how you feel on any certain day, but what I’m saying is some days you’re just not going to hit it out of the park. That’s okay.
When you have an off day, don’t make yourself feel guilty about it. I’m not going to cry myself to sleep tonight because I didn’t finish a paper. I’m going to read a book, listen to some music, take some time to think for myself, and go to sleep hoping that tomorrow is better. We all have off days. That doesn’t mean anything.
Even when you’re doing awesome in life and your swinging it out of the park, you may have nights where you feel like crap, or you get nothing done. Just chill. Eat some ice cream. Have a good cry.

Live your life.

Excuse me while I binge eat to fill the hole in my heart.
The turtle is my spirit animal.

Photo by Ray Hennessy on Unsplash

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