Tonight, in blissful inspiration I drove about three miles to the local Andy’s.
Andy’s is frozen custard. Frozen. Flipping. Custard. Custard uses egg yolks, cream, and milk, in order to make the densest, most delicious ice cream you’ve ever tasted on your mouth parts. At Andy’s they’ll combine your Custard with whatever you want. Do you want peanut butter, fudge, and pieces of Oreo? It’s called the Funky Jamestown Jack Hammer. Or something, I think. I don’t know what it’s called okay all I know is that it’s AMAZING.
I’m not even sure why I’m blogging about it; all I know is that I’ve got about sixty grams of sugar coursing through my veins from that custard.
I feel like superman.
I was craving sugar today, literally all day. I was so good too! I went to the gym, I had chicken for lunch, and chicken for dinner. Pretty much only ate chicken all day; in different ways of course though. Like for lunch it was a chicken sandwich, and for dinner it was chicken but the dinner version. . . Which means it’s bland and you choke it down with water.
I ate a plain bagel for breakfast. If I was any more boring I’d be eating plain oatmeal with dry toast. I knew a guy who did that at the restaurant I used to work at.
He was nice.
So you know what, when I had the urge to get Andy’s at ten-thirty at night, I went for it. I deserved this; if anyone on earth deserved Andy’s at that moment in time, it was ME.
Also, side note, did you know that you’re only supposed to have twenty-five grams of processed sugar a day? You know how much sugar is in a coke?
More than twenty-five grams.
So today was good. As i said, bland bagel, bland chicken, GYM TIME, bland chicken, ANDY’S.
If you were to look at my life in moments where I ate food and worked out, It’d look like the sentence above.
I’m so much more! You know why I ate that bland bagel? I was in a Starbucks working on writing a paper. The paper was about Pride and Prejudice. Something about how Elizabeth and Darcy have trouble communicating. It was great; I proofread it once and submitted it. I’m sure I’ll get an A++
I actually lied about having bland chicken for lunch. I actually ate flavorful chicken for lunch, because I went to Chic-Fil-A. You know how Andy’s is supreme in anything custard? Chic-Fil-A is supreme in anything chicken, and they also love Jesus.
WHERE MY CHICKEN LOVING JESUS PRAISERS AT.
Now why I know why they call coke, coke. I’ve got so much sugar coursing through me I can see sound.
I listened to an Audiobook while I ate my lunch. It was nice.
That was my brief intermission, and then I was back in paper-writing mode. . . I don’t know what my deal is, maybe I get distracted too easily, but I feel like it takes me forever to write papers. It took me about six hours to write a six page paper. That’s about a page an hour. I’m like the Usain Bolt of writing papers. If that means that I write slowly, I’m exactly that.
I also had a conversation about zombie romances with a friend. It was nice.
During the period of time leading up to the bland chicken that I consumed, I took a break and played a game. I then consumed the bland chicken, talked to the roommate, got the nectar of the God’s (Andy’s. I mean I’m sure you could have assumed that, but I wanted to make sure. Parentheses are awesome, It’s like we’re having our own private conversation here outside of the blog. How’s your day going? . . ) and after I just sat down here and wrote.
Obviously I wrote like a crazy person.
That’s sugar for you.
Sweet, sweet sugar.