Steve Irwin: The Legendary Hunter

I should have done this on Wednesday. “Writing prompt Wednesday” Alliterations get more CLICKS.

Today’s blog is a writing prompt I got from Reddit.  Here it is:

The hottest show in the afterlife for the past decade: Steve Irwin wrangling all sorts of supernatural creatures.

“G’day, I’m Steve Irwin, and this is Legendary Hunter. Today we’re travelling way back to ancient Greece, where the first Gryphon came into existence.

“The mythical Gryphon is a creature with the body and back legs of a lion, and the front legs, neck, and wings of an eagle. It stands about ten feet tall, With some Gryphons of history became as large as a two-decker bus! Crikey!

“In the lore and history, Gryphons primarily resided in central Asia. So today, we’re travelling the planes of existence, and observe the ancient Gryphon in its natural habitat!

“As we all know, travelling the planes of spiritual existence is no joke. That’s why when we jump out of the plane, we always double check our parachutes and our beacons of disaperition. You have to make sure everything is in working order before taking a trip out of the realm of the dead; as we all know, we might be dead, but getting stuck in the spirit realm of central Asia for half a millennia may not be fun. Let’s go!

“We’ve just touched down in the redwood forest near the Himalayan mountains. While there are plenty of other forest regions close to this area, the mighty Gryphon loves redwoods. Redwoods are massive trees sometimes growing as much as twenty-two feet wide, and three-hundred feet tall! Amazing! Gryphons settle their nests high up in the trees, generally with a good view of the surrounding area so they can hunt.

“Now we’ve been watching this specific spot for months in anticipation of the Gryphon hunt. There’s a twelve foot tall monster that lives within a mile of this location, and he’s our target today.

“While i’m not what a Gryphon would usually eat for food, I don’t want to get anywhere near it’s razor sharp talons and beak. But rather than just tell you about it, let me show you!

“Now I can’t wrestle a Gryphon without it tearing me to shreds, but we’ve set up a giant cage with some of a Gryphons favorite food in it. So hopefully, this magnificent beast gets hungry and we can get it restrained. Let’s go see if we’ve caught anything!

“Would you just look at that! We’ve got ‘em! He’s just picking apart at that meat like there’s no tomorrow. See, he’s content now, but as soon as he’s finished with that meat that boy will get angry. Gryphons are highly intelligent creatures; most likely, he walked willingly into that trap knowing that he could break free with brute strength. Even though we’ve got spirit rated cast iron, that Gryphon could tear through it like butter.

“While he’s busy, let’s just look at those massive claws. Gryphon’s claws are three times larger than a Harpy Eagle. That is to say, they grow anywhere from eight to twelve inches! Crikey!

“Not only do they have the other-worlds sharpest claws for it’s size, it’s wingspan can range anywhere from thirty to thirty-five feet across! It’s massive hind legs allow it to jump over thirty feet while running! I wouldn’t want to be running from this beauty!

“Now as I said before, I’m not what this magical beast would usually eat. So we’re going to go ahead and release it from it’s cage, and catch a glimpse of this beautiful Gryphon return to it’s nest! Would you look at that! Amazing.

“Wow, what a beautiful mythical beast. We got the glimpse we were looking for. Now let’s go back home, WOOHOO!”

Music plays, outro. Some undead commercial comes on about living with how annoying your loved ones can be after they’re dead.


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