Social Media.

In the spirit of appreciating meaninglessness in the materialistic waste of time that is social media; I decided to give you a brief synopsis of what these different platforms are, and what their role is in your social life.

Their are certain communities on the internet that are good, and help people become better while also curing a secret loneliness within them. I will not be talking about that today. Today I’m talking about the mundane, irrelevant, and pretentious mockery that is social media in it’s base form.

Let’s build this sandwich from the worst platform up.

Lettuce begin:

Facebook.

Sometimes I log into Facebook, realize what I’m doing, then immediately log out. Facebook is a disgusting amalgamation of the charred remains of good content. It consists of recycled memes, political humor (if you can call it that), baby pictures, and/or people getting married or engaged.

In order for you to actually see something that might interest you, like the life events of a close friend or family member; you have to sift through an insurmountable amount of garbage.

Also, ads. Ads everywhere.

No I don’t care that you fell off your bike and want to show us your bone sticking through your skin

No I don’t care that you care DEEPLY about the grammatical holocaust that is misspelling ‘they’re, their, there’.

Your ability to post memes or skits that other people made doesn’t make you funny.

Moving on:

Twitter.

It’s like Facebook but even more politically charged. There’s a greater sense of community, but if you follow more than a house-full of people you get bombarded with meaningless quotes and opinions from people you most likely don’t care about all the time. It takes a frustratingly large amount of time in order to see something meaningful that you appreciate, or an opinion that makes you think.

People on Twitter think they’re more intellectual than people on the other platforms.

They’re not.

Yes I have a twitter. Don’t @ me. I also have a Facebook; I’m going to continue to trash them and other platforms that I use daily:

This is a philosophical amount of hypocrisy.

Tumblr.

Tumblr?

Insta.

Insta is sleek and streamlined. You follow your friends, they post photo’s of things happening in their life with quasi-deep captions like:  “Live in the sun, dance in the rain”

It’s a better Facebook. It’s still Facebook though. There’s garbage everywhere. The discover page is littered with Insta-models, people flexin’, celebrities, and occasionally the rare talented photographer. It’s rare that you see photographs that actually inspire you. People don’t like being inspired creatively I guess; they prefer lust, envy, and recycled comedy.

Why am I bothering to write this.

REDDIT.

Your parent’s don’t know what this website is.

The hive-mind behemoth of Reddit. It’s a fascinating website filled with a fantastic amount of sorted communities. While I have a lot more respect for this website, and spend a lot more time on it than other websites; I’m also going to complain about it. Why not, this is my blog, that’s what I do here. I complain.

Reddit is the self-righteous know it all of the social media family. It’s the website you scroll through when you want to laugh silently through your nose while you’re procrastinating.

Or maybe you pretend that you’re becoming more well informed by listening to the singular opinion of a certain subreddit; while ignoring all other opposing viewpoints no matter how credible.

Reddit is a head rush of information. It still employs recycled jokes and meta-humor. It’s still a garbage social media website, but it’s probably one of the best.

Are there other SM websites?

Do they matter?

Uh, no. None of them matter.

The only one that matters is Runescape. Gotta go mine for four hours and talk to my guild about fishing.

Also, shout out to Snapchat. Haven’t used it for months and it’s still my favorite social media platform.

 

 

Limits.

Binging Friends is a heck of a way to spend a few weeks.

I’m not saying that’s what I’ve been doing, but it does indeed sound like a heck of away to spend a few weeks.

What have you been accomplishing recently? I don’t feel like I’ve been up to very much. It’s been relaxing and frustrating. I told myself this blog is for me, but what do I want to talk about? That’s what’s been on my mind a bit I think.

This is an avenue for me to work on my writing and expose my thoughts; though every time I’ve thought about the blog for the past few weeks I just sort of shifted it out of my mind. Its been a little fly buzzing around my ears that I just keep swatting away. Every day the subtle desire comes to write about something, but it gets nudged aside.

That gentle nudge has been bothering me lately. How easy it is to cap a passion that should be boiling inside me. How boring I am. How pointless I feel when I throw away my pen over a badly written sentence or two.

I look at someone else, someone who is not me. I think about their purpose, their dreams. Shakespeare was a focused man. His pen bent to his will, the only thing he broke was his back and his discipline for his passion. His passion was relentless. His genius was ever-flowing. Kurt Vonnegut wrote thousands of words only to dash them against the wall because it didn’t sound right. He woke to write his passion, if the only thing he had was a broken pencil and scattered scraps of paper he would still write something worth reading.

Where is that passion? Where is that meaning in myself? In yourself? Where is the passion in life, that fire, that purpose of being? These people you idolize into these genius figures of single mind and purpose, why can’t I just be like them?

Well, life isn’t fair I guess. We’re dealt a hand that we must play. We have opportunities to grow and improve, and that’s our choice.

I feel we limit ourselves by comparing ourselves to others who are better than us. There’s a mental battle I’m constantly dealing with when I try to write creatively. I tend to look at the negative aspect of how “it’s all been done before, so what could I possibly create?”

A subtle downside to this amazing and comfortable life we live in is that if you lack a singular purpose, you’ll probably be fine. You can live your entire life striving for nothing really in particular, and you’ll be fine. I don’t want to be fine. I want to accomplish something. The struggle, the battle is what boils that passion in our souls.

What do you want?

Are you limiting yourself by scattering your focus?

When I don’t work on what I’m passionate about, I feel empty inside. Yet I still have no problem putting it aside when there’s something easy I can distract myself with.

It’s hard to be single minded when there’s so much opportunity to be distracted. Whether that’s with friends or work or stress, it’s easy. The hard thing is focusing on what you want to accomplish, even when it’s not expedient.

Are you putting yourself down because someone else has accomplished more than you currently hope to accomplish?

Are you avoiding your passion because you fear it won’t be good enough?

I want to encourage you in your purpose today. No matter how high and lofty your goals are, as long as you remain disciplined and focused, you can do it. Stop putting off that desire within you. Don’t devalue your passion because your not as good as your idols.

If it’s your passion, stop limiting yourself.

*BOOK REVIEW* MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS.

SHOUT OUT TO MY FREAKY FRIDAY LOVECRAFT FANS OUT THERE. I just love that scene where Lindsey Lohan grows a bunch of squid arms and her and her mean girl squid squad eradicate the human race.

At The Mountains of Madness is a book by famous cosmic horror writer H.P. Lovecraft. It’s a book about a group of scientists who discover an unknown and alien world in the unexplored dark regions of the Antarctic.

This book was my first taste of this strange world that Lovecraft invented.

I quite enjoyed it.

I had a conversation recently with a friend on what the actual point of reading is. I told him that in my opinion, books are a way of learning and experiencing ideas and worlds that you wouldn’t have thought of yourself.

Not only is it a powerful tool to expand your mind, you can also experience vast and incredible universes similar or completely different from our own. This escapism is a window into the world and ideas that the author has created.

I would recommend escaping to the interesting and curious world Lovecraft has created. Here’s a few reasons why:

World building and atmosphere.

Let’s talk about ATMOSPHERE. It’s inescapable, curious, and fear filled. This book sucks you into a visceral and imaginitive world. The author does a great job of taking something plainly from our world and blending it realistically with the weird and alien.

The characters are a tool for you to view this strange world, the author doesn’t dwell on developing them or giving them much personality. That isn’t their purpose. Their purpose is to explore this finely crafted world and to show you what they find.

This writing style is called Antiquarianism. Yep, it’s a thing, I looked it up. It means that the characters or writer is more concerned about the imperical evidence rather than feelings or character development. This writing style works incredibly well for cosmic horror, because it allows us to gain a ton of information about this fictional world. The characters are not wheezing and fear stricken sheep, they’re scientists or reporters on a mission to discover. They put themselves in danger regardless of fear so they can learn about an ancient, alien, and hostile environment.

(By the way, this book is about aliens. Aliens with adorable little squid arms. Squishy, murdery, intelligent little aliens. Cosmic aliens. . . There’s also a big-ol’ Penguin or two.)

This book shows a brief moment in time in a fleshed out and ambitious fictional world. You travel through a dead city in the Antarctic, and learn about an ancient and supreme civilization. The book may be scary at points, but that’s not the point. The “idea” is the fear of the unknown. The insatiable lust for knowledge that pushes humanity into danger. The fear of things that are bigger than yourself. The book becomes tense and thrilling because Lovecraft is a great world-builder.

At The Mountains of Madness is an experience. It’s a pretty slow paced book that focuses on the details. While the details make it a bit dryer, it also steeps it in a heavy and realistic atmosphere that really makes the reader feel like the unexplainable and unrealistic events that are happening in the book could have happened.

Solid recommend. Love squid people? Love intelligent plants that come to life and eat all your dogs? This book might be for you.

You’ll also learn a ton about mural decorating and alien archetecture.

I’m gonna start a Cthulu Pinterest soon.

“Here’s how to make a hand-made squid bracelet”

“Here’s how to paint a mathematically perfect mural about the downfall of the elder ones”

Oh God I’ve become one of those weird Lovecraft people that makes strange references that nobody else understands.

And I’ve only read one book. Oh dear.

Risk.

Risk is the chance that things will not work out the way that you expect or calculate. Taking a risk means that you take a chance that you might fail, knowing that there is also a chance that you might succeed spectacularly.

I’ve met people that lived life in a very small bubble. Anxiety threatened to pop the bubble at any time, and the fear of risk trapped them in a small (depressing) world. I’ve also met people who constantly threw caution to the wind and made very stupid decisions. They would say they were taking a “risk” and it didn’t work out; when in reality they were being stupid.

I try to live life right in the middle of the risk zone. Most people live life there. It’s called a comfort zone, or something I guess. A comfort zone is the level of risk you are comfortable with, and is where you live your life. Some people have large comfort zones, which borders on stupidity; and other people’s comfort zones are so small they fear going outside because there’s a chance they’ll get the plague.

When I started writing this blog I was going to talk about how much of an advocate of RISK  I am. “The higher the risk, the higher the reward” I was going to say. I was going to frame it in a way that made perfect sense. My readers would say to me, “Johnson I can see now I need to take more risks, I need to smell the roses, I need to go skydiving, I need to ask for that promotion, I need to call that girl i’ve been meaning to call”. It was going to be highly uplifting.

Hundreds of hits I would’ve gotten.

I finally would’ve been able to hire that editor I’ve So (DeSpErAtley) NeEdeD.

I’m tired of talking about it though. Everyone knows that taking risks in life is generally a good thing, as long as you’re not stupid.

I think that’s a general caveat to anything that I say: take my advice, unless you’re stupid. Then don’t. Swaddle yourself up in a little blanket and make sure to protect your head with some kind of helmet as you continue through life.

Though I’m sure if you’re literate enough to read my silly scrawled sentences then you don’t have to worry about being too stupid.

Stupid people always think they’re smart, though.

So do smart people.

So does everyone.

I once talked to someone who thought they were completely and utterly average.

They must have been brilliant.

Or maybe they were just honest.

Moral to the story? Life is a risk. You’re going to die someday. It’s not going to suck for you because you’ll be dead. The thing that’s going to suck for you is if you live your life doing exactly what you hate doing, rather than what you want to be doing.

Don’t have the time or resources to do what you want? Make a change. It’s possible, your mindset just needs to change.

Don’t know what you want to be doing with your life? Welcome to the party. If you’re in that place like many of us, the best thing to do is start expanding your comfort zone. Take more risks. Find what you love by breaking out of your boring, exhausting, silly life.

You’re literally risking your life every day anyways.

Good luck I guess.

 

Photo by Sylas Boesten on Unsplash

RUST.

Oh wow look how the time is flying. The Daily blog has not been so daily lately. Let me catch you up on my life experiences:

I saw endgame twice.

I have some friends, not a huge amount, but some. We hang out occasionally. You could say i’m frightfully popular.

I had a few ideas.

I forgot more than a few ideas I had.

So it goes.

I have a little notepad in my phone where I jot ideas down. Some of them are one word; for example: BLURRY.

That’s where my blog post BLURRY came from. I liked writing that; it was back when I wasn’t a jaded and mindless writer. I had ideas. Now all my ideas die in the microwave I call a head.

Just kidding I still have ideas; I just forget to write them down. I was thinking about how I feel like a different person than I did a month ago. So much can change in a month. You could find God, you could have a meltdown, you could change careers, or win a million dollars playing the lottery.

It’s a crazy world.

Also nothing could happen in a month. You could work from 8-5, make sure to pause at a few intervals throughout the day for meals, and do it all again the next day.

Ah, the American way.

One thing over the past month that has changed is I got hopelessly addicted to sugar, or maybe I was always addicted to sugar and just now I’ve realized it. Nonetheless, I always make sure I have a sugary fruit snack ready for when the urge comes. The problem with being addicted to sugar is I’ll probably never eat another salad again.

I like salad. That’s sad.

While I haven’t become a jaded writer, over the past month I’ve become a distracted one.  I’ve been having such fun over the past few weeks, but you know what happens after you have fun:

you feel guilty.

I’ve been feeling guilty for ignoring the blog. Not out of a sense of obligation, but out of a sincere desire to write that I’ve been ignoring. When you ignore the desires of your soul you tend to feel guilty. This isn’t good, it isn’t bad, it’s just life.

So let the guilt train roll.

I had an idea recently that I thought was stupid. So I scrapped it, erased it from the notepad, and got back on the guilt train. I then forgot what the idea was, but the memory of the forgotten idea remained. When you forget an idea, no matter how stupid or small, it’s a tragedy.

Ideas may seem bad at first, but generally you’re not going to know whether or not an idea is bad until you attempt to bring life to your idea.

People don’t do that though. People have ideas and think to themselves, “ah, that idea wouldn’t work” and they wipe their little brains of the wonderful idea they had because they were too lazy to make the idea work.

I think that most people have good ideas every day. Great ideas. The best ideas. These ideas get written off and discarded like garbage 90% of the time. A person will look at their beautiful idea and think, “this has been done better by someone better” and their idea will rust.

Soon that person will just turn to rust, because all of their ideas rusted in their heads until nothing but rust was accomplished in their life.

Rust and money and want and unoriginality.

My goal with this blog was to become a better writer by writing about whatever I wanted to write about. Because good ideas are only good when someone applies them and makes something out of them.

I was feeling rusty, but when I write again, and I mean really write. When I write for me, not because I have any agenda, or because I want to get the most views, that’s when the rust starts going away.

Writing is my inspiration. It gets me all oiled up.

Okay that sounds weird.

I no longer feel all oiled up.

 

Now I just feel gross.

Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash

Mindset.

I am terrible at brewing coffee. Perhaps it’s my extensively complex palette; the fact that I need the coffee to be just perfect before I’m able to enjoy it to the fullest extent. I try to make it strong, it comes out too strong. I try to make it a little weaker, it tastes like dirty bean water.

I can’t win.

So now I’m on my third cup of coffee after having two disagreeable and disappointing cups, and it finally it tastes just right. My morning just isn’t complete without having a good cup of coffee. It is now 1 PM; now that I’ve actually had a decent cup of coffee, it’s time to start the day.

See, now that’s the issue for me I suppose. It is so incredibly easy to waste time when you’re not aware of what you’re doing. Today I woke up at around 9 because it’s my day off. 9 isn’t so bad. 9 is a great time to wake up. Here’s the issue though: time tends to go very fast when your only goal of the day is to drink a cup of coffee.

When you are directionless you tend to waste time, so that maybe at some point in the future you can be a person who no longer desires to waste time. I’m the person who wastes time every day until suddenly I realize that I’m wasting time. Then, after I have already wasted time, I become determined not to waste time. I repeat this ritual daily and pretend I’m a productive person.

My morning routine is filled with coffee and procrastination. I procrastinate until I’m fed up with procrastination, and then I start my day. I do this every day, seemingly forgetting that I did it yesterday, and the day before, and it was as unfulfilling yesterday as it was today.

You could call this laziness. I’m lazy in the mornings and I simply cannot seem to get my act together.

Or you could be kinder and call me a night owl, since I spend most of the morning in a daze of coffee filled grumpiness and then I slowly cascade into productivity until late into the night. This is true, that is me.

Honestly, it’s both. If I were a perfect person I wouldn’t procrastinate. I think that’s the point of self-improvement, right? You’re a person who wants to improve your imperfect self. Other people are better at being more productive throughout the day; props to them. Looking up to other people who are better than you at stuff is awesome. If you have a brain, you can do exactly what everyone else around you is doing; as long as you work hard and apply yourself.

Routine is important, schedules and tasks are important, but most importantly:

Mindset is important.

Do you have a mindset of success or a mindset of laziness today? I’ll be honest, some days I just have the wrong mindset, and that makes it harder for me to get anything worthwhile done. That’s not a big deal, though. Every day is a new opportunity for you to become better.

That’s my goal, at least.

My other goal is to be able to make the perfect cup of coffee every morning.

Photo by Sabri Tuzcu on Unsplash

 

Inspiration.

Yesterday I spent an hour staring at my computer screen wondering why I couldn’t write.

I guess that’s why I couldn’t write.

Sometimes I get up in my head about what I’m doing with my life and it makes me a bit sad. I look at the words on these pages that I’m writing and I wonder if it’s ever actually inspired by anything. Or if it’s just me mindlessly monologuing to no end.

That mindset was a bad one I think. I spent all day yesterday waiting for a sense of inspiration because I didn’t just want to sit down and write nothing. Writing nothing is the start to writing something inspired, though.

I wonder if the greatest writers of our time had days like these. Days where they didn’t have good ideas. Days where they didn’t think they were good writers. Days where they wanted to give up and stare at a wall in hopelessness.

They probably did have days like that sometimes. . .

I think the truth is sometimes inspiration just isn’t there. Sometimes you may just feel like garbage. I don’t think that’s an excuse to not try, though. I didn’t end up writing yesterday because I felt sorry for myself. I was still capable of putting some coherent sentences together; I just didn’t feel like it.

Inspiration is tricky that way. It’s not going to appear unless you work really hard for it. Obviously through history there have been some amazingly talented and inspired writers. But who’s to say that their creative masterpieces were always inspired from the get-go?

I’m sure that Tolkien had days where he didn’t feel like writing. I Bet he still sat down and wrote nonetheless.

I think that’s the difference. The great writers write no matter what. They dedicate every shred of time they have to their passion, even when they don’t feel passionate about it. They see where the words on the page take them even if they don’t have a clue where they’re going. They become inspired through action.

The more time you dedicate to your passion, the more inspired it will become. You can’t have inspiration without discipline. You will most likely fail more than once before you create something you’re truly proud of.

As they say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. You can’t give up because you feel bad. Everyone feels bad. Push through it. Make something you’re proud of.

The only thing stopping you from becoming great is yourself.

Trust.

I bought a coffee machine.

No more do I have to drive to Starbucks for their sub-par espresso. No more do I only have to be satisfied with only one cup of coffee through the day. Now I have all the power. I can make all the coffee I want. I can make reality whatever I want.

I’m thinking about writing a blog in praise of this coffee machine and all the pleasant joys it brings me. I’ll be like every other mom out there. Coffee is my drug. Here’s a photo of me with my mug and my pug. If you talk to me before I get my coffee, beware, I’m grumpy. You know, stuff white girls who love Starbucks say.

Coffee is my inspiration.

I was thinking today about my book that I haven’t written yet. I was thinking about the character’s that don’t actually exist yet and about what will define the theme of the book. I was thinking about trust. Trust is such an interesting element of life. Everyone views it a little differently I think.

Most people probably consider themselves trustworthy. Yet a lot of people have dealt with close friends or family destroying their trust. I’ve met many people in life who were so betrayed by others that it was really hard for them to trust new people.

I think we’ve all had people in our lives disappoint us. And even though we may not be able to admit it, we’ve all disappointed someone else in one way or another. This is why trust is such an interesting and difficult thing to grasp. It’s something that sounds so black and white: If someone is trustworthy, that means that they follow through with what they say. That you can “trust” them to get the job done, and to commit to their words and actions.

This is completely true. Trust is pretty black and white. The thing that isn’t black and white is the human element. People who are trustworthy with some things may not be trustworthy with others. You may think that you are entirely trustworthy, but you may not be able to easily trust in other people. Your bitterness for someone’s past actions may keep you from ever trusting in them again, no matter how small amount of trust they ask from you. Perhaps you don’t even trust in yourself to do the right thing based off of your own past actions.

People have a way of complicating things that we wish could be simple. I think it should be simple, and I try to apply that simplicity to my life on a daily basis.

If you’re in the business of self improvement, here’s how I think you should apply trust.

Be a trusting person.

I have talked to so many people through the years who talked about how “strong” they were. How they rely solely on themselves because other people let them down. How trust is for weak people and blah blah blah. That’s stupid. That’s nonsense. That’s silliness. It’s childish. It’s moronic. I am passionately against that mindset and I think it creates weak self pitying cry-babies.

Trust is for strong people.

A strong person should be the most trusting person you meet. They should be so trusting and believing that sometimes people think that they are a tad naive. Why? Because trust is a leaders strength. People who trust in others may sometimes get disappointed, but more often than not trust leads people to perform better, because someone believed that they could accomplish what they said they would do.

I like to think of myself as a trusting person. I consider the inner cynic that I have inside to be a partial weakness. Being cynical and cautious about people is not a good way to live life. It is much better to trust in someone and to be disappointed than to never trust at all.

Now I said trust to the point where people think you’re a tad naive. I’m not saying actually be naive. If someone you put trust in failed you, and they have no remorse for their actions, you should be a bit more cautious putting your trust in them again. I’m not saying be bitter or unforgiving towards them, but just learn from what has happened. The best example I have for this is this: If your girlfriend breaks your heart, maybe don’t give them your heart again. You can still be friends, or you know, “friendly” I guess.

I guess what I mean is don’t be self-destructive and say that you’re “trusting”.

Be a trustworthy person.

Being trustworthy is difficult and easy at the same time. No matter how much you try to be trustworthy in life, there is always someone that will consider you to be the opposite, and that’s okay. That’s life. People are going to think what they’re going to think about you. The important thing is for you to consistently become better, so that you can look back and see that you are a better person now than you have ever been.

In terms of trust, there’s only one thing that you should actively focus on doing ALL THE TIME.

Say what you mean.

Sugarcoating, white lies, actual lies, people pleasing, communication issues, these are all things that you need to avoid in life. Don’t avoid saying the truth because you’re afraid of how people are going to react. Don’t say something simply because you think that’s what someone else wants to hear.

I think that people who consider themselves good at “reading between the lines” are morons. A trusting person listens to what other people say, and believes them. You should be the type of person that is worth believing when you speak. That means you speak the truth. That means you try to make yourself as understandable as possible. That means communicating effectively and following through on your promises.

If you’re saying what you mean, you’re not making empty promises. If you say you’re going to do something that means you’re going to do it. You should treat your words with the weight that they should have. If your words are meaningless and wanton, then people are going to treat you as if your trust is meaningless and wanton. They won’t trust in you.

If you want to be trustworthy and trusting, that’s what you should do. You should listen to what other people are saying, and trust that they are not intentionally lying to you. Then you should act that way in turn. 

You’d be surprised how honest people are when you actually treat them that way.

People are worth trusting in. You’re worth trusting in. God is worth trusting in.

Coffee is worth trusting in.

Photo by McKenna Phillips on Unsplash

BOOK REVIEW. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE.

BOOK REVIEW. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE.

I just finished Slaughterhouse-five for the second time. What a rush. What a book. What a writer.

Slaughterhouse-five pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. The book is charming, full of wit and dark humor. The book is sad, full of war and death. So it goes.

This book is about Dresden getting bombed into a trillion little pieces. It’s about the cruelty of war. It’s about the mind of a broken man.

It’s about getting abducted by aliens and put into a zoo on Tralfamadore.

I’m going to say the same thing I say before every book review: I’m a blogger, not a literary critic. I read this book. I think it’s good. Here’s why:

After putting down Slaughterhouse 5 I immediately picked up Our Mutual Friend By Charles Dickens.  I was immediately bored to tears. It’s not Chuck’s fault; Chuck is a genius. It’s Vonnegut’s fault. Vonnegut is also a genius.

Vonnegut’s writing is a unique style called Postmodernism. The way I would describe it is that the story is disjointed and nonlinear. It jumps around different points of the story, and it is connected by the writing style. Even though something completely different may be happening in the next paragraph, it doesn’t feel out of place, because the paragraphs are connected by the way the author is writing. You never feel like you’re lost while reading it, and you never feel like the moments where you transition from different points in the story are jarring. Everything feels natural and entertaining.

The story still feels as though it progresses, even though it’s being told in this strange manner. It has a beginning, a middle, a climax, and an end. Even though you know exactly what’s going to happen throughout the story, you have a insatiable desire to keep reading. Vonnegut crafts his paragraphs in such a sharp rhythmic way that it is such a pleasure to read.

There are moments where you will be on the verge of tears, or laughing out loud. The story is grounded, yet at the same time it is fantastic and strange. It takes you from these surreal scenes of a boy who is hardly a man taken prisoner by the Germans in the war, to scenes with the same character being abducted by a spaceship decades later. Literally, these two story points happen paragraphs apart, and it flows perfectly.

I’m sure this book isn’t for everyone, though.

I gave one of my sister’s another book called Breakfast for Champions by Vonnegut once.

She didn’t like it.

I was furious.

Vonnegut isn’t for everyone. I guess everything isn’t for everyone. Some people don’t like chocolate. Some people don’t like summer. Some people don’t like the smell of the ocean.

So if you’re one of those crazy people, maybe don’t read Slaughterhouse-five.

In a more serious tone though, this book is violently sad and darkly humorous. If you can’t stand harsh language or serious tones (like war. Like World War 2)  then maybe it’s a better idea to stick with something a bit more light-hearted. Like The Princess Bride.

This book is immensely difficult for me to describe. So I apologize if this review has confused you at all. All I mean to say is that this is one of the most entertaining books I’ve ever read. It’s a little over two hundred pages long, and you could get a copy for under ten bucks.

Get this book. Read it. Let me know if I was right to say it’s one of the most entertaining books you’ll ever read.

Because it’s one of the most entertaining books you’ll ever read.

“If you’re ever in Cody. Wyoming, just ask for wild bob.”

The Melody Man.

Today I sat in a chair for a couple hours and listened to someone speak. I wasn’t listening to what they were saying. Instead I was imagining a story where people who couldn’t sleep would go to a huge auditorium. They would spend lots of money, if not their whole savings to go to this place. This place would only be open at night. It would have soft velvet cushions. There would be warm milk or hot chocolate in the cup holder.
The people would sit down and listen to a man on stage. The man’s job was to make them fall asleep. He was very good at it. His voice was melodic and it dripped with honey. Every word he said tickled the ears of the sleepy audience. He said nothing. He said it well. He said it with enthusiasm.
The people would do their best to pay attention. They wanted their money’s worth. They would tune their ears, and sit up in their chairs. They wanted to know what the melody man was saying. They wanted to glean from this charming speaker.
The more they paid attention, though, the more out focus the man became. The more they listened the harder it was for them to focus. The man was trying so hard now to get his point across, but his point was always out of his own grasp. The man didn’t mind that though. His voice was flowing silk; he liked the sound of it.
The audience drifted on the river of silk into a sweet sleep.
The insomniacs would snore.
The talking man would continue talking until every single person was asleep.
Then he would talk some more.
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Needless to say I wasn’t paying attention to the speaker tonight.
He made me sleepy.